New Hampshire state representative Nancy Elliott just realized something. Gay marriage is bad, and needs to be repealed in NH right away:

This is why I can’t take gay marriage opponents the least bit seriously: they assume everyone else is a homophobic moron too. Let’s just examine the tip of the iceberg that is Nancy Elliott’s ignorance:

1. Can anyone point out the part in the gay marriage bill that mentions mandatory anal sex? I didn’t think so.
2. Surely Nancy would realize, if she had spent as much time thinking about it as she did thinking about penises in rectums, that there are way more heterosexuals having anal sex than homosexuals. Should we ban all buttfuckers from marriage, or just the gay ones?
3. I assume this means Nancy has no issue with two women getting married. They are, after all, completely innocent of this abomination Nancy is concerned about.

Oh and Nancy? Just FYI: if there is wiggling and excrement involved in your anal sex, you are doing it wrong.

I am reading, among other things, Christopher Moore’s Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. I am pretty early in, but already I am impressed with its ability to take one of the more horrible stories in the Bible and a fairly obvious joke and totally amuse me.

And so it went. I’m not sure I took to playing villains as easily as Joshua took to being the heroes. Sometimes we recruited our little brothers to play the more loathsome parts. Joshua’s little brothers Judah and James played whole populations, like the Sodomites outside Lot’s door.

“Send out those two angels so that we can know them.”

“I won’t do that,” I said, playing Lot (a good guy only because Joshua wanted to play the angels), “but I have two daughters who don’t know anyone, you can meet them.”

“Okay,” said Judah.

I threw open the door and led my imaginary daughters outside so they could know the Sodomites…

“Pleased to meet you.”

“Charmed, I’m sure.”

I saw some strange things.

And some pretty things.

It was nice.

Dear people guilty of the following behavior,

Stop doing this.

Scenario: You and I are next to each other in a packed subway that’s making its way down the tracks. You’re standing somewhere not directly in front of the doors and need to get off at the next stop. You’re extremely concerned about not being able to make your way past people in time to get out (even though I have yet to see this actually happen to anyone). At this point, you feel the need to say “excuse me” or otherwise point out that you’d like me to move before the train stops moving.

That last point is essential. Once the doors are open and I’m in your way, feel free to ask me to move, or tap my shoulder, or shove me to the side; I’ll understand.

What I don’t understand is what you expect me to do about your imminent departure while the train is in motion. The goddamn car is full of people! Where do you want me to move to? Not only that, but half the time when you do this to me, I’m also getting out at the next stop. Dare to imagine a world where you’re not the only person who has to maneuver their way out of the car soon. I know it looks like it’s impossible for you to get out, but that’s because it is. The doors are closed. The train is moving. Try to understand that when those conditions change, people will get out, and you can be one of them.

I’m not ignoring you because I don’t see your premature gesturing towards the door. I’m ignoring you because you’re stupid.

It’s worth remembering from time to time that things are not as bad as they seem. In fact, things are great. Things are so great, that we have to get upset about what are relatively tiny inconveniences and minor setbacks.

It’s impossible not to feel disappointed or angry sometimes; it is a necessary part of the human condition. Sometimes these feelings are even completely justified. But it’s important from time to time to step back and consider all the truly terrible things that can happen to people, today and throughout history, and compare them to your current set of troubles. Odds are things aren’t as bad as they might be.

The brilliant Louis CK on this topic:

Also, I’m pretty sure gaining this kind of perspective is exactly why we have reality shows.