Tea Party Rap

This article about a white (naturally) Tea Party “rapper” from NJ is priceless. Some highlights:

The Brick resident, a born-again Christian who is currently unemployed, mixes conservative manifestos with hip-hop beats.

“I’m just doing this because I don’t know what else to do with myself.”

He took the stage to perform the anthem, “Patriotic People,” which contains such lines as “This is the USA, not the USSR. We need more Ann Coulter, less Bill Maher.”

“I figured, rather than relying on Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity to get the message out there, I could rap to reach younger people because it’s coming in a format they understand. They don’t understand Bill O’Reilly using words like ‘pithy,’ his little catchwords.”

He did go through a gangsta phase, celebrating the lifestyle by partying (not the tea kind) and selling drugs, which led to 14 months in county jail.

“This isn’t a bunch of boring people who just listen to one kind of music. Don’t get me wrong. I love country music, but we have an edge, too.”

“Hip-hop needs more positivity,” says Cal. “It should be telling people to get off of welfare, get off the corner, stop selling drugs, stop disrespecting your beautiful black queen.”

Cal is happy to call himself Mr. Conservative and rap exclusively at Tea Party gatherings. “I’ve limited myself to rallies and marches because any other hip-hop venue I’d get booed off stage.”

Is he angry about paying taxes on his unemployment checks? Or worried that Obama will take away the health insurance he likely doesn’t have? Just curious.